The best stories about experience remind us that a life well lived does not leave us untouched. It leaves marks. Joy leaves its bumps, grief leaves its holes, and every quarrel and reconciliation leaves a scratch of its own. Scripture says that "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4). Experience is how that slow work gets done in us.
This post retells one short parable, "A Perfect Heart," in full in our own words, followed by a takeaway for preaching or reflection. It is a simple story, but it has a way of staying with you, especially if you have lived long enough to have a few scars of your own.
Story in this post:
A Perfect Heart: The Old Man's Scars
A young man once stood on a busy street corner, opened his coat and called out, "Look at my heart! Look at my perfect, perfect heart!"
A crowd soon gathered, and they were impressed. They stood in awe of a heart without a single blemish, smooth and whole and complete in every way.
Then an old man walked by and stopped to see what all the fuss was about. When he heard the young man proudly crying, "Look at my perfect heart," he pushed his way to the front to take a closer look. And when he saw the young man's heart, he scolded him. "Son, that's not a perfect heart. If you want to see a perfect heart, you need to see mine."
With that, the old man opened his coat and showed them his own heart. It was old and knotted and, to be honest, rather ugly. It was full of bumps and holes, and here and there pieces had broken off altogether.
The crowd began to laugh. But the old man raised his hand and began to speak.
"See this bump?" he said. "That's when I met my first love. Oh, how the sun shone that day! How bright the colours of the world were, how sweet the birds sang in the trees. What a wonderful moment it was.
"Ah, but see this hole? That's when my first love and I broke up. How it hurt me, and how it hurts me still. But the hole used to run much deeper. The years have filled a lot of it in.
"See this bump here? That's when I met the woman who became my wife. What a wonderful life we had together: year after year of companionship, of laughter and tears and joy. This scratch is the night we had a blazing row that nearly ended our marriage. But we made up, and we moved on.
"Over here, this place where a piece of my heart has broken right off, that's when she died. Oh, the ache. Yes, it still aches today, because she took a piece of my heart to the grave with her. But I trust she will give it back to me one day.
"And here's another big bump. That's when we decided to start a family. You'll notice the hole right beside it. That's when we learned we could not have children of our own. How hard that was to accept, how painful to live with. But this bump is the day we adopted our daughter, our own beautiful little girl to raise as our own. And yes, there are scratches and dents all around that bump, the times we fought and shouted. But we always learned to forgive, and so this bump just keeps getting bigger."
The old man went on to describe many more bumps and holes and scratches on his heart. When he finished, the crowd had fallen completely silent.
"You see, son," he said, turning to the young man with the flawless heart, "yours is not a perfect heart, because it has not lived. It has not been touched by joy and tears and laughter and love and pain and anguish and hardship and celebration. Only when you are an old man like me will you be able to look at a gnarled and battered heart and say, 'Yes, now that is a perfect heart.'"
Takeaway: The young man thought perfection meant being untouched. The old man knew better: a heart becomes whole by being given away, broken, mended and given away again. Paul could say, "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed" (2 Corinthians 4:8-9), because he saw God at work in the very marks life had left on him. If you opened your coat today, what would your bumps, holes and scratches say about how you have loved?
Source: original story by Rev. Garry Izzard, rewritten and used with permission in the source collection.
Final thoughts
We live in a culture that prizes smooth surfaces and flawless images. This little story about experience turns that upside down. The heart that has never been hurt is the heart that has never really loved, and the scars we try to hide may be the truest record of a life well spent.
If you are carrying a fresh hole right now, the old man's words are worth holding on to: the years can fill it in, and forgiveness can make the bumps grow bigger. For a thoughtful look at how we face life's last chapters, Sopranu's review of Being Mortal is a good companion read. Which mark on your own heart are you most grateful for?
More stories you may like:
- Stories About Suffering and Grief
- Stories About Family and Relationships
- Stories About Wisdom, Foolishness and Growth
This story is retold in our own words for teaching and reflection. The source is credited under the story.
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